


living despite it all

by BestDeadFriendsForever



Series: pirates don't make good nursemaids-verse [1]
Category: Black Sails
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, James Flint is bisexual and y'all can fight me on it, M/M, Multi, Post London Era, Pre-Canon, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 07:53:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17956568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BestDeadFriendsForever/pseuds/BestDeadFriendsForever
Summary: James Flint lost everything after Thomas Hamilton was dragged to Bedlam. Not everything. He still had Miranda and she still had him.





	living despite it all

            For James, losing Thomas had felt like having his heart wrenched out of his chest. The only reason he knew for certain that it was still where it belonged and beating was because he could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears as he and Miranda, with what little he possessed and she wanted to take with her, stepped onto the ship that would take them to their new home.

            Nassau.

            The island that Thomas had fought so passionately to bring back into the fold. The island where Thomas had fought for the opportunity to show men a better way. The island that got Thomas taken away from them and locked in Bedlam.

            Even just thinking the name of that God-forsaken place made James go numb all over. He felt sick to his stomach and he held on tighter to the strap of his bag. Miranda gently laid her hand over his and that helped to ground him, just a little.

            The voyage to Nassau was blurry to James. He remembered that he and Miranda were in their own private cabin, that Miranda had gone between looking ashen to looking very nearly green during the trip though James supposed it was because she’d never been on a ship for so long, and that’d he’d spent much of the voyage pacing their cabin or prowling the deck like a caged animal. He’d never been on a ship without something to _do_ on it. It was maddening. It gave him too much time to think, and that’s what James wanted to avoid the most.

            It was bad enough that he was plagued with nightmares of Thomas in Bedlam. Thomas would be covered in blood and there would be open blisters on his visible skin. It made James go cold, but then he’d hear the screams. He’d never heard Thomas scream before, Thomas hardly ever even raised his voice except in moments of excitability, usually when discussing their plans for Nassau, or in moments of intimacy. But James had certainly heard other men scream in pain as they died. He’d never forget that sound, and now he had to listen to it come from Thomas’s lips ever time he closed his eyes.

            So he’d been exhausted and a bit out of it when he and Miranda had stepped off the long boat that had taken them ashore. It was a good thing Miranda still had her good sense about her.

            She found them a place to stay and guided James inside with a patient hand between his shoulder blades. He sat down heavily on the bed and she moved to put a stray lock of hair behind his ear. He gently caught her wrist and pressed a soft kiss to her palm. She smiled at him tiredly and leaned in to kiss him so softly that James thought his fragile heart would shatter.

            “We’ll get through this,” she said to him quietly. “We have each other and we made him a promise.”

            James nodded and leaned his forehead against hers. It felt like a nightmare still, but she was right. Miranda had promised Thomas that they would protect each other, and James had every intention of honoring that promise.

…..

            Miranda heard about a run-down little farm house that had been abandoned not too long ago. James assured her he would go out to look at it. “You’ve been running yourself ragged while I’ve been…” James didn’t exactly have a name for what he’d been doing, but he continued. “It’s my turn to do something.” He brushed a kiss to her temple before grabbing his coat and heading downstairs.

            The man that met him at the property was older but he seemed a decent fellow. They talked a little about the property, how much of it there was, the state it was in and why, and why the former tenants had left.

            Then they actually went up to the house. James wanted to wince at the state of it, but he’d been warned so he kept it to himself. The vegetation surrounding the house had started to run close to the house but that was an easy fix. When they stepped inside it was a bit of a different story. The walls were fine and the roof only had a few problem spots, nothing that James couldn’t fix, but the inside would need to be completely cleared out. James blew out a breath and looked around. He could almost imagine the way this place could look when it was cleaned up. It could be nice. It could be home.

            And that’s exactly why he bought it then and there.

            It would take some time for them to repair and clean up, it being just the two of them, but James was sure they could manage it. If he repaired the roof and cleared the immediate area around the house while Miranda worked on the inside, it could take a couple of weeks maximum after they got the supplies.

            He told Miranda this when he got back and she nodded with a weak smile. “Good.”

            He frowned a little and tilted his head. “What’s wrong?” James asked and moved to kneel down in front of her. He took her hands from her lap and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

            “Nothing’s _wrong_ ,” Miranda said and her sentence trailed off like she was contemplating say more.

            “But?”

            Miranda worried her bottom lip between her teeth and James straightened up on impulse. She gave his hands a gentle squeeze before she spoke. “I’m pregnant.”

            James could heart his heartbeat in his ears as he took in what Miranda had just told him. He knew that she wasn’t telling him that the baby was his, they’d been so painfully careful that James never-, but it still made him feel a wash of panic claw at his throat and chest. He didn’t know anything about raising a baby. He’d been an only child. Miranda had been an only child. How were they supposed to do this? They didn’t even yet have a place to live fit for adults let alone an infant.

            “James,” she said so tenderly and she cradled his face between her hands. “It will be alright.”

            “I should be the one reassuring you,” James said and he leaned into her touch.

            “Well,” Miranda said and smiled at him.

            “We should start working on the house immediately. I should go and start discussing supplies,” James said and he stood, but Miranda tugged on his hands to keep him in place.

            “Tomorrow. It will keep,” Miranda said. She stood and pulled him into a tight embrace. He buried his face into her shoulder and breathed her in.

…..

            James sighed and swiped his arm across his forehead. He was in the process of fixing the roof, the most pressing project on the house, while Miranda swept out the inside. Thankfully, patching a roof was similar enough to careening a ship that he could do it on his own.

            James shifted so he could lean back on his palms and let himself breathe. He could hear Miranda humming inside, occasionally interspersed with actual lyrics to the song she was humming, and even this far inland he could taste the salt in the air from the ocean. A small breeze blew and cooled James’s skin in a momentary respite from the heat of the afternoon. He closed his eyes and tipped his face up towards the sky.

            “As beautiful as you look up there,” Miranda’s voice broke through the quiet, “you’re supposed to be _working_.” There was no actual reproach in her voice, just a gentle exasperation and fondness.

            “Was taking a little break,” James said and moved toward the ladder so he could climb down.

            “It looks good,” Miranda said, shielding her eyes against the sun.

            “I think it may be more important that it _works_ ,” James chuckled. “We’ll have to wait and see how it holds up when it rains next.”

            Miranda nodded and smoothed a hand over James’s back. James pulled away first with a small wince. It felt wrong to have that small feeling of contentedness without Thomas. It made him feel inexplicably guilty. So he went up to the ladder to finish up with the roof before it got dark. There was a little ringing silence before James could hear Miranda’s humming start up again.

…..

            James insisted that they at least have a mattress o the floor before they stayed then night in their newly finished house. It’d taken a few weeks, but it had been faster than Miranda would have estimated. She was glad for it because now they had a space that was _theirs_.

            No one could take it from them.

            Alfred Hamilton’s face came unbidden to her mind and she shivered. James looked over from where he was smoothing the linens. “Are you alright?”

            “Just a chill,” Miranda said. James made a noise in the back of his throat before pulling off his coat and moving to drape it around her shoulders. The coat practically swallowed her smaller frame but she pulled it around herself. She was silently pleased at no only the gesture, but that she was now wrapped up in James’s comforting scent. “Is the bed to your satisfaction now, love?” Miranda teased.

            James shot her a withering look as he smoothed his hands over her shoulders. “A woman in your condition should hardly be sleeping on the floor.”

            “Thank you,” Miranda said sincerely and reached up to smooth a thumb over his cheek. She leaned up to kiss him, but he stepped away to fiddle with the linens. It stung, but she supposed that it had little to do with her personally and more to do with Thomas’s stark absence. A hollow feeling settled in her stomach, but she pushed past it, not willing to dwell on it for too long. They hardly spoke until the candles were snuffed and they were lying in bed together in the dark.

            “I’ve heard that there’s work on the ships. I was thinking about finding a crew.”

            Miranda knew exactly what ships James was referring to. “When will you go?”

            “As soon as I can find a position,” James said. Miranda couldn’t help the shaky gasp it pulled from her chest. It’d been hard enough to come to grips with her situation when she was sure James would be there, but _this_? This felt impossible. She realized that James was still talking. “-need to provide. I know it’s not ideal-”

            “Ideal?” Miranda interrupted. “James, this is a nightmare. Could you not do something else?”

            “Like what?” Miranda could tell she was pushing James’s fragile temper.

            “Anything!” Miranda shouted. “You could work the fields, tend a farm.” James scoffed.

            “I’m a sailor, Miranda. That’s what I’m good at; it’s what I know.”

            “You can _learn_ something else.”

            “I’ve made up my mind,” he said quietly and Miranda felt as though she’d been struck dumb.

            “Fine,” she said dismissively.

            “Miranda-” James started helplessly.

            “Goodnight, James.”

            There was silence and then she heard the linens rustle as James, presumably, turned over.

…..

            James was gone when she woke up that morning. Miranda felt cold despite still being wrapped up in his coat. She let her fingers trace the smooth surface of the buttons as she looked down the empty dirt road that lead to the beach where the pirates made their home.

…..

            James was uncertain how one was meant to approach a pirate crew. He’d left Miranda in bed and had left her his coat as some sort of consolation prize. He knew she’d be angry with him, but he had to do what was bed for her and the baby- Thomas’s baby.

            _Thomas’s baby_. The thought made him feel too many things that he couldn’t name all of them. So he decided to ignore them. He walked into the bustling tavern and made his way toward an abandoned corner table. No one seemed to bother with him, aside from a few side-long glances, and Flint was fine to just observe for a little while.

            He was sitting there, watching the bar without really seeing everything since a new crew had noisily come storming in, when someone spoke to him. “This chair spoken for?” James turned his eyes to the man who’d spoken and he blinked.

            “Not at all,” James said and gestured for him to feel free.

            The man blinked at him and James’s guard was up. “What the hell’s a posh fucker like you doin’ here?”

            “Pardon?”

            “Proper Queen’s English, decent clothes, cleanest man I think I’ve seen in _years_ ,” the man pointed out and suddenly James felt out of place in this group of men.

            “Needs must,” James snorted and shrugged, aiming for nonchalance.

            “Lookin’ for work?” The man eyed him as if trying to size him up and James clenched his teeth and fought against the instinct to try and make himself look bigger.

            “I am.”

            “Hal Gates, Quartermaster of the _Walrus_ ,” the man- Gates- said and offered his hand. James shook it and quirked a small smile. “You caught me at just the right time you lucky bastard. We’ve been lookin’ to take on someone new. You think you’re up to task?”

            “Of course,” James said easily.

            “When can you start?”

            “Now, if you’ll have me.” Gates gave him a fairly approving look but quickly stepped on it.

            “And what should I call you?” Gates asked.

            James hesitated for a moment before he thought of a story his grandfather had once told him. “Flint,” James said. “James Flint.”

**Author's Note:**

> So here's the beginning of my one-shots for this nursery-verse. I've thought about this type of AU a lot and I'm excited to write little snippets and drabbles about these goobers.  
> -James


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